Breathing Space

A friend asked yesterday how many weeks I was now and I couldn't tell her. I really didn't know. Time stopped at 20 weeks with our ultrasound. Have I actually progressed further in being pregnant? I look to a calender: one week and five days since that ultrasound and the changing of our lives.

The surprise of not wanting to be alone was met by dear people who have just been here for me, been here to do the dishes with me, or sort through Ella's old clothes, paint a room with me for distraction, or provide us food for our bodies. But I sense a change and a need for some time and space without distraction. The thought of being alone doesn't terrify me as it did that first day after our discovery. And so, it is time for me to just breathe, to walk slowly, to live each day with my son intentionally. For today, I do not want distractions, just space...