Oh Heavenly Day

We used to be huge fans of Smallville. Back when Ella was first born it was 'our show', but in recent years it has fallen off our tv show radar. A few months ago we caught a rerun from this season and remembered that one of the things we liked about it was the way they could always set up a closing scene with a poignant song that really captured a mood. In the episode we saw Lana was getting married to Lex and the Patty Griffin song 'Oh, Heavenly Day' was playing. It was a beautiful day with a gorgeous wedding and tons of cheering people, but the underlying sadness of Patty's voice captures the sadness in Lana that no one guesses because only she knows that she really doesn't want to marry Lex.

Yesterday was one of those 'Heavenly Days' as we had a beautiful birthday party for both Ella and Zane in our backyard. The day was perfect - beautiful weather, 75 degrees, a fall breeze blowing in off the field next door, and and tons of happy children darting to and fro with candy in their mouths and laughter on their lips - but behind it all was the underlying sadness that our son will never be able to be a part of a day like that. I struggled with the idea of having the party amid so much uncertainty in life, but 'normal' moments like that are definitely times that we need right now. To not withdraw from life totally has been a struggle. Last Tuesday we wanted to retreat from everything we were involved in, but that just leaves us sitting here thinkinig... which is sometimes good but often bad.