Good News!

A phone call came today - and on the other end was a voice saying, "I have good news!" Our test results finally came back and this baby is well! This child I am carrying is genetically whole and healthy - genetically perfect! I want to live in this good moment, in this hope. I'm pushing away the sadness. Just for a moment I don't want to let it in. I don't want to listen to the voices of reality reminding me that we aren't promised anything, that even healthy babies have things go wrong. So I do. I push it all aside and believe, if just for this moment, that life will be good again, that I will know the sweetness and yes, even the sleepless misery of a newborn. Yet the ache is inescapable; I see it in Brad's eyes. I know we can never change our story. I know that this is our fourth child, not our third. But I want to hope that this little life will bring with it healing for all of us.